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Help wanted: for a once-a-year writing project

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 24, 2011 - 7:40am

HELP WANTED: Viewer participants requested. No experience required.

The first day of April beckons. Wisely, or otherwisely, The Icon invites viewers to offer April Fool's stories for this online news source.

Quite honestly, my April Fool's well is as dry as Bluffton during Prohibition. Can't think of anything worthy of print. Oh, there's the usuals...

A flock of 1,000 or more turkey vultures are headed to Bluffton. Last seen in Gomer flying this direction.

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Married on St. Patrick's Day in the Shannon Theatre, honeymooning in Ireland

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 21, 2011 - 12:29pm
The wedding couple - click on image to enlarge

Remember the couple who planned to get married in the Shannon Theatre on St. Patrick's Day and then honeymoon in Ireland?

Click here for a refresher.

Well, they did it. The men in the party were dressed in kilts.

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Here's a chance to help Bluffton University graduate David Dellifield

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 16, 2011 - 10:09am

Bluffton University graduate David Dellifield of Ada (a 39 year-old, non-smoker) was diagnosed with Stage 4, well-differentiated squamous-cell carcinoma (throat cancer) on Feb. 2, after going to the doctor for a swollen lymph node and earache.

Dellifield had already begun training for the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati. He had already put 125 miles in since 1-1-11. This race will be his 5th FULL Marathon (26.2 miles) since the Flying Pig in May 2009.

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Next time you want to tell someone to "shut up," try this clever Swiss dialect phrase (it worked for your great-grandfather)

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 14, 2011 - 5:28am

Next time you want someone to shut up simply say, "Jetzt aber, still." Christine Habegger Purves, writing about some Swiss dialect phrases in the recent Swiss Community Historical Society newsletter says that means: "Now be quiet," or more rudely, "shut up."

There's more and here it comes:

Langi zeiti. A long time.

Es macht mir nuet aus. It makes no difference to me.

Vas gish vas hest. What you get is what you have.

Uf zwei bei wie a 'n' a haube hung. With two legs just like half a dog.

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Daylight Saving Time messes with my brain, stomach and lots of other things - and should be outlawed

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 12, 2011 - 4:09pm

Ever hear about the west Texas farmer who complained to his Congressman about Daylight Saving Time?

The farmer wanted Congress to repeal the Act because the extra hour of sunlight burnt his crops.

Then, there's an episode on Seinfeld about DST. Kramer always ignored changing his clocks. Somehow I'll have to find the episode. Maybe an Icon Seinfeld fanatic can send the story line. It was pretty good, and really didn't make any sense.

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Rest of the U.S. take note

Posted by Fred Steiner on March 9, 2011 - 5:58am

The rest of the United States take note:

While collecting bargaining is a hot topic in Ohio, Wisconsin, Kentucky and elsewhere, observe how the Bluffton school board and Bluffton school administrators handled pay raises for the 2011-12 school year.

The two groups agreed that no pay increase will take place for administrators next school year.

Realizing that issues such as this can divide states, congressional districts, counties and even school districts, The Icon congratulates the board and administrators on coming to an agreement on this issue as it did.

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