On civil discourse

By Amelia Alexander
This morning I went downstairs and made my breakfast smoothie like I do every day. I sit down and eat breakfast with my parents on the weekends because we do not usually have anywhere to rush off to.

We talk about our plans for the day, or whatever is on our hearts. Sometimes, we immerse ourselves in some of the most high-minded conversations of my life. We talk about religion, philosophy, politics, celebrities, etc. There aren’t really any limits when it comes to our discourse.  

I cannot imagine having a relationship with my parents in which we do not talk often. I understand that this notion reveals how blessed I am. I am grateful that my parents and I can engage in civil discourse even when we disagree.

Those touchy subjects
I was wondering how we were able to talk about such “touchy” subjects like religion, without offending each other, and instead, gaining new perspective from each other. 

My parents and I each have our separate lives and experiences that help us form opinions and thoughts about certain issues and topics. Because of this, our realities are nuanced. In my mind, this is a microcosm of our country.

I value civil discourse and I hope our country can improve when it comes to open conversations about problems and how to solve them.  

Despite our different opinions, my parents and I have some basic agreements that are met. For instance, we all agree that everyone deserves human rights and civil liberties. We also agree that no race, gender, or sexual orientation is superior to another. If my parents were racist or sexist, it would be much harder to have civil discourse with them.   

For example, as a woman, it is difficult to have discussions with people who are sexist. It is beyond frustrating to talk to somebody who believes that you are immediately inferior simply because you are a woman. 

Predispositions about people
Having predispositions about people and generalizing people is dangerous. Sometimes stereotypes prove to be true, but more often than not, putting people in boxes causes more misunderstanding than understanding. This is how ignorance and prejudice make it difficult to have civil discourse.  

Intolerance and bigotry also weaken civil discourse. An example of this would be if we were talking about religion, and we expressed different beliefs. Personally, this is not a problem. I enjoy learning about different religions, as I believe that each religion has some wisdom to offer.\

If I were an intolerant bigot however, conflict would arise. People dismiss (and sometimes do much worse to) other religions and beliefs simply because they do not agree. No wisdom is gained from this kind of discussion, and the intolerant group is then viewed in a bad light because of their intolerance.  

After reflecting on how my parents and I can have honest and open discussion about controversial subjects, I conclude that ignorance, prejudice, intolerance, and bigotry are what hinder civil discourse. Having open conversations about issues and nuanced topics is vital to preserve. I write here to open up about my generation and our perspective. This is my attempt at opening the door for civil discourse. 

Friends, families, and lovers alike could all benefit from genuine communication. Civil discourse is something that has been lacking in our country of late. When debates are had online, it is much easier for people to spew hateful and aggressive attacks against others from behind the safety of a screen.

When we are reminded of the humanity of people who disagree with us, we become more compassionate and understanding. It is important to humbly remember that our opinions are not universal truth. 

Our country is founded on compromise
Our country is founded on compromise. Civil discourse is how we come to compromise. The better that we can understand each other, the more educated we are. We need educated voters. We live our lives from one perspective. This can limit our knowledge and growth.

By talking to people who think differently, respectfully, we can gain perspective and understanding. We need people to form their own opinions from a place of knowledge.

We need people to understand each other to quell hatred and violence, so that love and understanding will overcome.