Icon music review: Five songs sort of about desserts

Reviewed/written by Craig Hoffman 
I am not a big dessert guy. My wife makes super dinners. She does usually put some fruit into a little bowl for our after-dinner treat. It’s the opposite of eating chocolate cheesecake in America. And it does keep me passing health checks, so there is that. 

Here are some fun songs about dessert (and other things)! Do you have a favorite song featuring sweets? Let the Icon know in the comments!

Song Recommendation: “Birthday Cake”- Rihanna (2011) 
It’s not the most catchy of songs. The lyrics repeat a ton. But, hey, birthday cake is always awesome! Right?

Eat Your Dessert First
There was a quote I read years ago about life. To paraphrase, the author of the quotation laments, “All the desserts come first. In the end, illness, disease, and death await everyone.” It was not the most uplifting quote I had ever read in my life. But I couldn't help but agree with the sentiment. It got me wondering what part of this meal we call “life” I am on at this moment.

Song Recommendation: “Poundcake”- Van Halen (1991)
Like the first song on this list, there is no hiding the euphemisms. Van Halen’s mindset is teenage boy-level, but the drill in the song is worth the download alone.

Where Am I At In Life?
The appetizer? Unlikely. I am a little long in the tooth for that. The main course? Perhaps. I have been at the table of life long enough to have partaken of it. The dessert? I hope not. But, the thought crosses my mind every time I have a close encounter with a car, scooter, or bicycle as I go to work in the morning.

Walking in Japan is not for the meek! It is estimated 90% of drivers in Japan don’t stop at crosswalks even when pedestrians are present. I run for my life often during rush hour.

Song Recommendation: “Strawberry Fields Forever”- The Beatles (1967)
This song is about escapism. With the pounds many folks have put on during the pandemic, the trip to the dessert table has been often. This classic work from the group has a long history that is worth researching on your own.

The End Is Getting Near(er) My Friend
When I look in the mirror, I see an old man evolving before my eyes. I see family and friends getting older, too. People I once saw as young are now dead. I wonder if I am unwillingly running straight toward that same final curtain. 

And you know what? I am. And likely so are you, sorry to burst your bubble.

Song Recommendation: “Ice Cream”- Sarah Mclachlan (1994)
The song features a sweet recounting of love and one’s affinity for falling for someone. The symbolism of the trouble with the addictive nature of longing for a relationship in one’s life. If only exes were as easy to shed as extra pounds.

Don’t Complain About Your Dinner
When I was a boy, I once went to a dinner party with my family. There was food and drink everywhere. I put tons of yummy dishes on my plate. I piled the mashed potatoes as high as they would go. I slathered brown gravy over them. I sat at the table next to my beloved mother, and I put a huge spoonful of mashed potatoes and gravy in my mouth. It was terrible.

I used my napkin to scrub the remaining gravy off my tongue. And for good measure, I blurted out, “Who made this crap?”

Song Recommendation: “Bloody Mary”- Lady Gaga” (2011)
Not every dessert comes in solid form. This song is rife with the symbolism of Jesus, Mary, and the Crucifixion. It speaks of love and religion as being equal. A deep song it is not, but a Bloody Mary is a super after-dinner dessert drink idea. Technically, it’s not a “dessert,” but let’s be honest, any drink after dinner is a treat!

Be Careful Running At The Mouth
An older woman who I did not know, slumped in her chair. I flew out of my shoes with a lot of help from my beloved mother’s two hands. Funny enough, we returned home that evening, and I overheard my step-father say, “Craig was right. That brown gravy really was terrible.”

Final take: Sometimes, there is a lot of “brown gravy” that comes on a person’s plate and in their lives. And the older I get the more “brown gravy” I see pooling on my dish. Perhaps, it’s time for you and me to eat dessert first! Cookies, cakes, and pies!: 5/5

Craig Hoffman is a music graduate of Ohio Northern University and The University of Akron School of Music. He also serves as the Icon’s Japan correspondent.

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